


All Alone With You

by Heliana



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-20 00:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1489471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliana/pseuds/Heliana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a tale of dreams, hope and love between two talented skaters who are destined to walk alone because of their greatness. Companionship is a luxury to them, but there is always a tiny spark of fire that warms them despite the coldness of the ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. El Tango de Roxanne

Patrick remembered when he first watched Yuna's skating. It was her world record breaking performance in 2007 Worlds. She was the 2006 World Junior Champion who defeated Mao Asada. He competed in the junior worlds just days ago and captured the silver, so this was the first time he really watched her skate. She was skating to El Tango de Roxanne in the short program. It was very impressive, for a girl who was just 16. She looked so elegant and beautiful in that gorgeous red and purple costume, playing the role of the tempting Satine to perfection. Even he, who was generally not interested in ladies skating, was captivated by her in front of the television.

In the end, Yuna ended up winning the bronze, after having two falls in the free skate. Patrick watched the free skate as well, she seemed drained and tired, a total opposite to the energetic Mao who broke the world record for free skate in front of the home crowd . It hurt, just a little to see this young girl struggling like an injured lark on the cold ice. Somehow, her performance touched him in an unexpected way. He saw something strange in her eyes, a weary but relieved look that didn't belong to a 16-year-old girl.

Yuna Kim. He muttered to himself, this was a name to be remembered.

 

Yuna felt both disappointed and relived after the free skate waiting in the kiss and cry area. Yes, she fell, twice actually, and this meant that she definitely wouldn't become world champion this year. She knew these thought were depressing and discouraging for a figure skater competing at the highest level, but she just could not imagine herself as the world champion. A bronze medal was just good enough to prove to the skating confederation that she was the best skater they have, but not shiny enough to attract a lot of unwelcomed media attention which would only lead to pressure. Before she came to Tokyo, a lot of people doubted her ability to place in top 10 to earn 2 placements for Korea next year. She proved them wrong, against all the odds. It hurt, the pain in her back, but it was worth it.

"Hey Yuna. The Americans swept the ladies podium in Germany." Her new coach Brian Orser told her. "Really? How about the men?"  
"America got first as well. Patrick Chan from Canada got silver. The lad could have won, but he dropped from 1st in sp to 4th in fs. What a pity!"

Now that she was waiting for the medal ceremony to start, Yuna remembered Patrick Chan's placement and the image of a Chinese boy from TEB last year was retrieved from forgotten memories.

He has a nice, big smile that she lacked.


	2. Miss Saigon

Yuna remembered the 2007-2008 season as the worst year in her career. She was suffering from serious back injury, as well as puberty issues. At that time, Toronto was a strange, foreign city where she felt that she was a rejected trespasser. The language, the food, everything reminded her of home, which was thousands of miles away. The only good thing was that she could train without disturbance under the guidance of Brian Orser in a private skating rink, which was an unimaginable luxury back in Korea.

Her choreographer, David Wilson suggested Die Fledermaus for her short program and Miss Saigon for her free skate. Yuna normally put a lot of thought into the choice of music, but she felt so tired and weary just by adapting to the new environment, so she just nodded to whatever David had suggested. The first half of the season went on well, she won both of the grand prix assignments as well as the final in Turin. The city was where the Winter Olympics were held less then two years ago. It was beautiful, an elegant city full of classical architecture. She visited the opera house after the competition and watched the opera Madame Butterfly. It was the original version of Miss Saigon. Yuna wept at the ending, when Madame Butterfly committed suicide. She cried not because of her death, but for the fact that this proud daughter of the samurai wasted her life over a worthless man who destroyed her dream of love by revealing to her the ugliness of reality.

Yuna was forced to withdraw from the Nationals and the Four Continents Championships due to a hip injury. No one understood her pain, physically and mentally. There were many discontentment towards her in the Korean Skating Confederation. The Four Continents was held in Goyang, and her rival Mao Asada was competing as well. The media loved to dramatise the rivalry between the two talented teenage skaters who were born in the same month, even though Yuna never understood why they were so obsessed with this "rivalry" thing. She went to watch Mao's skating. It was classical and graceful, just like ballet on ice. She remembered reading from a magazine that Mao learnt ballet when she was child. Yuna couldn't help but feel a bit jealous at the Japanese girl's flexibility demonstrated in that elegant Biellmann Spin when she herself was struggling with injuries. 

Gothenburg was in Sweden. Even in March, the weather was cold. How she longed for the warmth of Spring! After the short program, where she placed 5th, Yuna locked herself inside the hotel room, refusing to talk to her coach, or even to her mother. She was not only upset, but afraid as well. She was afraid of not living up to her countrymen's high expectations, as well as disappointing her mother and coach as well. A few hours later, feeling hungry and realising that she has forgotten all about dinner, she walked out of her room and left for the only restaurant in the hotel. 

Patrick was just starting to eat his plate of risotto when the waiter asked if he mind sharing a table with another costumer. He shrugged and continued eating, before realising that the other costumer was a Korean figure skater who happened to be called Kim Yuna. 

"Hey. You don't mind sharing the table with me? I am starving and..." 

"Sure. I am about to finish anyway." Somehow, Patrick's face turned red and he didn't dare to look Yuna at the eye. Maybe it was the fact that she was the Grand Prix Final Champion while he placed fifth last year at Turin, or just that he was simply uneasy with the idea of having dinner with this pretty, attractive girl with beautiful eyes that has left a lasting impression on him since a year ago when he first watched her skating to tango from Moulin Rouge. Since then, Patrick has followed her career closely. He has watched her skate that morning, and he could see that she was exhausted and injured, which led to a fall on the triple lutz. 

Yuna only ordered a salad and looked at Patrick's plate of risotto with a hungry look in her eyes. 

"How I miss rice.." She muttered under her breath. 

"Why don't you order one then?" Before Patrick could stop himself, the words simply jumped out of his mouth. 

She seemed to be surprised by his question and it took her a while before answering "I am on a diet." 

They ate their food silently until Yuna's cellphone rang. 

"Hello. Yeah I am having dinner now. Don't worry about me. I am totally fine, just a bit tired. I will sleep early tonight." Yuna saw Patrick's curious look and explained that she was just talking to her mother. 

"You like the song Only Hope too? My Mum loves Switchfoot as well." Patrick noticed that Yuna's ringtone was Only Hope, which he has listened to at home for nearly a thousand times already thanks to his mum. 

"You mean the band Switchfoot? No, I just like the movie A Walk To Remember. This is a beautiful song and it always reminds me that there is hope no matter how terrible the circumstances are. It's a really touching movie which is about this girl Jamie who has cancer and she is in love with a boy called Landon... " 

Yuna didn't realise it herself, but she smiled a little and her expressions softened when she talked about her favourite movie. Patrick was both amused and enchanted by the joyful look on the girl's face which made her seemed much more like a 17-year-old teenager instead of the Grand Prix Final Champion. 

"Oh My God! I am sorry that I keep on babbling. You must be totally bored by all this stuff. I am so sorry!" Yuna realised that she has been talking non stop for 5 minutes while Patrick has been looking at her with a look of amusement. She cursed herself for behaving like an idiot to a stranger, well not exactly a stranger as they have seen each other at competitions and her coach Brian has spoke of him as the future of Canada in men singles, but this was insane! Maybe it was the warmth in his dark brown eyes that look so much like hers, or just that she was too lonely and stressful that she couldn't help but behave like someone dying for normal conversation, which made her act strangely. 

"Hey, I got to go. Thanks for sharing the table. I will check the bill. Good night!" Her face was burning red and she ran away as fast as she could. She was back in her room before realising that she has left her phone on the table. 

Patrick originally wanted to give Yuna back her phone that night but then he realised that he didn't know her room number.So he woke up early and waited at the hall where the breakfast buffet was held. He saw Yuna, her hair tied up in a ponytail, and waved at her. She smiled and walked towards him. 

"Good morning. Have you seen my--?" 

"Phone? You left it last night so I keep it for you. Here you go!" 

Yuna was embarrassed and didn't know what to say. Last night seemed so far away and to be honest, she didn't know how to greet Patrick. 

"So I have to sit with my mom. Thanks for last night!" One thing that she was sure though, was that after having a conversation with someone of her age, she finally felt a bit better and had a good night sleep without nightmares for the first time in a month. 

"Um Yuna. I am looking forward to you skating today. I really like your Miss Saigon program and anyway, good luck and have fun on the ice." Patrick wanted to hit himself for saying something so stupid. Really? "Have fun on the ice" when this was the World Championships! She must think that he was either being sarcastic or out of his mind. To his surprise, Yuna gave him a big smile and thanked him softly before going back to her table. What he didn't know was that Yuna has never been told by anyone to enjoy this experience before the trip. Instead, she was constantly reminded to earn 2 placements for Korean skaters in next year's Worlds. So Patrick's words were very refreshing and encouraging to her. She finally felt that she was skating for herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a long chapter (actually it's very long compared to the last one) as I want to create this atmosphere like that of Celine and Jesse in Before Sunrise. This is like the first real conversation between Yuna and Patrick so it is meant to seem a bit awkward and embarrassing at the start. I look at wiki and find that the 2007-2008 season was quite hard and difficult for Yuna especially as she was injured. So I will try to focus more on her psychological descriptions.


	3. Only Hope

Even though she should be preparing for the exhibition gala on the next day, Yuna couldn't help but allow herself the luxury of lying on the hotel bed, flipping through the TV channels randomly. She was thinking of whether she should skate her exhibition to Just A Girl or Only Hope when her coach Brian came in.

"Hey Yuna. Don't be so lazy. You want to come and watch the men's competition with me?"

"I am so tired. I don't want to move." Yuna was in a good mood ever since the free skate when she placed first and won the bronze overall. Finally, she felt that a great burden was unloaded from her shoulders and she could look forward to a relaxing holiday back in Korea.

"OK. There is a party downstairs in the hall tonight. Wear something nice and enjoy yourself there."

Yuna dozed off for an hour before realising that she would be late for the party if she don't get change now. She grabbed a pale blue dress her Mom has laid out for her on the bed, applied lip gloss on her lips and sprayed the perfume her sister gave her for birthday on the wrist before rushing out of her room. There were many skaters in the hall already. She saw Carolina, looking gorgeous in a little black dress. She was talking to the newly crowned world champion, Jeffrey Buttle. Yuna has known Jeffrey since she was in competing in junior level. He actually choreographed her free skate program Papa, Can You Hear Me? for the 2005-2006 season. 

"Congratulations Jeffrey! It's a great performance!"

"Liar! You didn't even come to watch me skate! Brian told me already how you chose your bed over me." Yuna secretly cursed her coach for being such a big mouth before putting on her biggest smile and explained that she has watched the video online. Jeffrey laughed and said "Come on. I will introduce you to the boys over there. Be prepared, those kids are crazy!"

 

Patrick was busy drowning himself with beer when he saw Jeffrey coming over with a tall, slender girl in blue dress. He stared at her for 5 seconds before realising that the girl was Yuna and that he was literally sprawling over Johnny's thigh. Definitely not the most pleasant picture of him.

He sat up and blushed when Yuna sat next to him. He could smell her perfume and saw the glitter of the lip gloss on her lips. She was laughing at something Johnny has said, about calling her little Ms Kim like the heroine in Miss Saigon. He felt so hot and flustered, maybe it was just that there were too many people and the room was stuffy.

"Em I am going to get some fresh air out on the balcony." What Patrick didn't expect was that Yuna followed him out to the balcony as well.

The atmosphere was quite awkward as both of them didn't know what to talk about and it certainly didn't help that there was another couple chatting happily in Japanese as well on the balcony. The girl, who turned out to be Mao, noticed them and waved to Yuna before going back to the hall holding hands with the older boy, which Patrick recognised as Daisuke Takahashi. 

"So. Congratulations! Another medal for you in the Worlds for two consecutive years. Nice performance on Miss Saigon." Patrick finally broke the silence by complimenting Yuna on her free skate performance. 

"You too---" Yuna shut her mouth after remembering that Patrick placed 9th overall after falling and having invalid jumps in the free skate. She wanted to slap herself.

"Don't worry. I will get over it. It's my first time at Worlds, right? I can afford to make mistakes. I can even boost to people that I have once beaten the reigning world champion in the Nationals---" Patrick's voice broke as he recalled his free skate performance yesterday. There was no word to describe it except disaster. He made mistakes that shouldn't have happened. It was so stupid of him.

Looking at the boy in front of her who was trying to act carefree despite the sorrow and disappointment in his eyes, Yuna patted him on the shoulder gently. The unexpected body contact apparently shocked both of them as he jolted slightly when her hand touched his shoulder.

"I am sorry. But you know what? You did your best and earn three placements for your country, you should go back home feeling proud of yourself. You have Jeffrey as companion while I am alone for most of the time, no matter it is training or competition. You told me that morning that I should enjoy and have fun on the ice. I did and it felt good. We should be skating for ourselves, not others." 

Yuna blushed when she realised what she had just said. Patrick was looking at her with a look she couldn't fathom. Did he think that she was so bossy and annoying? Or that it sounded bitter and a bit arrogant to him as she had won the bronze while he placed 9th? Yuna was never fully at ease interacting with boys as all her friends were girls and she was simply too busy to have dates, much less boyfriends.

Damn it! What was she thinking? Brian Orser saved his student by coming out to the balcony and having seen the apparent blush on her face, he made up an excuse for her immediately.

"Yuna, your dad is on the phone. Your mum is waiting at the lobby."

After Yuna and her coach left, Patrick looked at the starry night and he smiled as he thought of the girl with eyes like stars that has just left. 

Yuna. He whispered the name softly, his voice lost in the wind.

 

In the night of the gala, Yuna finally decided to skate to Only Hope. Maybe that was because she knew there was someone out there that also like the song. Or maybe it's just that she wanted him to watch her skate. As she skated across the ice like a butterfly, she sang along the lyrics softly:

I pray to be only yours

I know now you are my only hope


	4. Scheherazade

Whenever someone asked him which program of Yuna did he like the most, Patrick immediately thought of the beautiful Persian Queen who weaved story after story in the thousand nights. Yuna's skating to Scheherazade reminded him of the Queen telling her stories across the ice. All the emotions, both happiness and bitterness all merged together in that bright flash of red. It hurt his eyes, realising that she was so far away from him, like the ice queen high up on the altar.

After the 2008 Worlds, Yuna invited him to an ice show she headlined in Korea. Patrick was surprised as he hasn't medal in major international competitions but when he asked her why, she just replied that he was the reigning Canadian National Champion. It was a fun experience and he finally felt that there was a living that could be made from figure skating, which was a very expansive sport. 

The night after the show ended, Yuna took all the skaters to a Korean barbecue restaurant. The food was delicious, and after they finished, they all said their goodbyes and hugged each other before parting. Patrick was walking back to the hotel with Tessa and Scott when Tessa decided that she wanted to go shopping and buy souvenirs. Scott followed her so this left Patrick alone to find his way back. 

"Hey. You are looking lost. Need me to walk you back?" He heard Yuna's voice behind his back.

"That's great! But don't you have to go home. It's nearly 11 already." Patrick was both surprised and happy that he got to spend some time Yuna alone.

"It's fine. I want to talk to you. I miss chatting with you." Yuna silently cursed herself for being so clumsy with words as she saw Patrick's confused look. Her words sounded so dubious. She didn't know how to phrase it but she wanted to chat with Patrick, who seemed to be the only one who understand her in terms of the difficulties she faced in skating, both psychologically and physically.

"I mean, we are of same age and we are both figure skaters. So I want to talk to someone who can communicate with me in terms of figure skating topics. Yeah, you know how difficult it is to talk to our classmates about figure skating when most of them don't even know how to skate."

Patrick was kind of disappointed when he heard Yuna's explanation. He didn't know why but maybe he was hopping that she thought of him more as a friend instead of just a fellow skater.

"Sure! What can I can do to help our ice princess?" He asked in a jokingly manner. 

"That's easy. I need to choose the music for my programs next year. This is the season before the Olympics and I really want to win the Worlds. I want to skate to a mesmerising program." Yuna took out her iPod and gave one earphone to Patrick.

"Now, this one is chosen by David. It's Danse Macabre by Saint Seans. I like the Gothic style a lot but I am afraid that the tempo of the violin will be too fast for me, especially in the step sequence. What do you think?" Yuna was muttering to herself while Patrick was trying to remember what "macabre" meant in french.

"It means dance of death right? I think it will be great for your short program. As for the step sequence, I think you can handle it when you have skated to tango already. It will be interesting to see you in a dark, Gothic look. Maybe smoky eyes and a black costume?" Patrick was speaking when Yuna looked up from her iPod and suddenly he realised that their faces were less than one inch from each other. Yuna blushed while Patrick looked away quickly. 

"So. I chose Scheherazade for the free skate because Michelle Kwan has also used it. I love her skating so much. I mean watching her skate isn't just pure skating, but an artistic performance. I know it has been used by many already but I really want to skate to it. Am I speaking too fast? I ah--I just get excited when I talk about Michelle Kwan. I mean, she is my idol in skating and I really want to skate along with her one day. It's my dream." Yuna wondered if her voice sounded weird. That moment when Patrick's face seemed magnified in front of her, her heart beat just a little faster.

Patrick felt like he was drunk, not because of alcohol but the girl sitting next to him. Everything about of her was so adorable to him. "You are talking about Scheherazade just now, right? I ah I think it is great for you. I mean you can try something exotic and mature. Something that enchants and captivates people."

"Aren't you captivated by me already? I find it disappointing that I need to pretend to be a Persian Queen in order to have you find me enchanting." Yuna said wittily. 

"You have captured my heart already, princess" Patrick replied immediately in a flirtatious manner.

It took Yuna a moment to digest what he has just said. 

"Um I have to go. The hotel is just round the corner. Good night."

Yuna was nearly running when Patrick called her, "Hey! Thanks for tonight and everything. It's a pleasure skating with you, Yuna."

She turned around and waved before disappearing down into the metro station.


	5. Danse Macabre

Stunning was the first word that popped into his head when Patrick saw Yuna in her Scheherazade costume. He watched her first competition of the new season in Skate America online. She took his breath away. This confident young woman on the ice was totally different from the shy teenager he met less than 6 months ago. She was like a phoenix reborn from the ashes.

They haven't spoken to each other since that night in Korea. It's not like they distanced themselves from each other deliberately. Yuna even went to the airport that morning to say goodbye properly. She gave everyone souvenirs, chopsticks made by silver. She treated him just like everyone else, a fellow skater who skated together in shows. Was he disappointed? To be truthful, then yes. He thought maybe, she would treat him as a friend by exchanging phone numbers and email addresses. Not like colleagues who would only see each other at work, which in their case were competitions and ice shows. Patrick didn't have time to dwell over his complicated feelings though. For the whole summer, he was busy preparing his programs and training. He also has school to manage. The only time he allowed himself to think of Yuna was when he chose to skate to a tango for his new short program. He told Lori that he wanted to try something passionate. It was not a lie, just that he didn't tell her the part about Yuna having skated to a tango before. He didn't tell anyone about this "obsession"? No, just interest in the Korean skater. For God's sake, he wasn't a love sick boy who fantasised about love all day long. He was aiming to be the best skater in the world.

 

Yuna didn't react when the boy sitting across her said "Let's go back to being friends."

After a while, she finally found her voice "Are you breaking up with me?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Yuna wanted to kill herself for saying something so stupid. Are you expecting him to say "I Love you"? She scolded her mentally.

"Why?" People may have mistaken her husky, hoarse voice as a sign of tears, but the truth was she has a soar throat that left her nearly mute. The mask certainly wasn't helping.

"You are too good for me. I don't deserve you..." Yuna didn't listen to his explanation but instead, she tried to remember why she dated this boy 3 months ago.

She met him when she came to back Korea for a short holiday in September before the start of the Grand Prix. She was dragged to a speed dating dinner arranged by her friends when one of the participants was sick. There were 4 men, who were all classmates of the brother of the girl who arranged this dinner. He was studying law in university, a first year freshman. He wasn't very handsome, it's just that his eyes reminded her of someone who has warm smiling eyes like him. He showed interest, and she was lonely. Like all teenage girls, she also harboured dreams and fantasies of romantic boyfriends. They dated just like a normal couple. Going to the cinema, theme parks, shopping, walking around the city...... It was great for the first two weeks, but when she flew back to Canada to train, she started to realise how difficult it was to maintain a relationship when they were over 6000 miles away from each other. Phone calls became shorter and fewer. They no longer have common topics. She wasn't interested in his life in university while he made no attempt to learn about figure skating. Even though the practical, realistic side of her told herself that break up was not a matter of if, but a question of when, she still made attempts to heal the gap between them. However, a photo from her friend crushed her hopes,  she decided that it's just not worth it to do anything for a jerk who cheated behind her. 

"I am sorry Yuna. I don't think we should continue anymore---" Yuna interrupted him "You know what, you could have told me directly that you are seeing another girl. I don't have time to listen to your lies and excuses. Goodbye."

She walked out of the cafe briskly. Did it hurt? Sure it did. Hot tears were rolling down her face, but she never looked back, not even once. Regret was not a habit of her.

 

Patrick admitted that he was secretly glad when it was announced that the Grand Prix Final would be held in Korea this year. He knew he would see Yuna anyway no matter where it was held, but he just liked the idea of seeing her in her home country. He wanted to know the other side of her. 

Things didn't go well for both of them. Patrick screwed up both programs and placed 5th again. Yuna lost the gold to Mao for 2.20 points in front of the passionate Korean audience. The results were far from satisfactory. After the exhibition gala, he was having dinner with Johnny and Carolina when his phone rang. The number was unknown. 

"Hey. It's me. Yuna. Are you free now?" Patrick heard her husky voice over the phone. His heart beat faster.

"Yuna! How do you know my number? Where are you?" He wanted to see her, immediately.

"I got it from the agency. You don't mind, right? I just want to talk to you." She seemed to be trying hard to stop herself from crying.

"Where are you now? I will come and pick you up." Patrick was worried. He has never seen Yuna in such a fragile state. He needed to make sure she was alright.

Yuna told him that she was in a park nearby. He ran out of the restaurant quickly, not even bothering to explain to Carolina and Johnny. He ran across the street and saw Yuna sitting on a bench inside the park. She was looking at the sky. It was a dark cloudy night with no stars, not even the moon. Patrick sat next to her. Yuna looked at him and he saw that her eyes were red and swollen. He offered her a pack of tissue. She mumbled a "Thank you". He waited for a few minutes.

"Are you ready to talk now? Well, if you want to talk about it." Instead, Yuna did something that surprise both of them, she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I feel so tired. Everyone expect me to win. I am afraid of losing, but I am even more afraid that everyone will leave me if I don't continue skating. I am even afraid to skate. " There were tears on Yuna's face.

After slight hesitation, Patrick hugged her tightly. "I don't expect you to win. You don't have to skate if you are afraid. You told me before, that skating should be something that makes you happy. I will always be your friend, no matter who you are."

They stayed in that way for a long time, not moving, just clung together for warmth from each other in this bitter cold that was too much to bear. Patrick wiped the tears on Yuna's face away gently. Looking into her bright, starry eyes, he couldn't help but kiss her gently on the lips. She tasted just as sweet as he had dreamed of. It was only at that moment that Patrick finally realised what his feelings were for Yuna, he was in love with her.

Yuna was still shocked from the kiss when she heard Patrick's voice "Yuna. I am in love---" She reacted violently by pushing him away "No. Don't say it. I'm sorry, Patrick. I---You are a very good friend of mine and I don't want to lose you. This is a mistake and I am so sorry for---" She could see the hurt in his eyes. Those gentle, caring eyes that should be happy and carefree. He smiled sadly, interrupting her apology "You don't have to be sorry. I understand. This is my fault and you shouldn't feel guilty just because you don't feel the same for me. From now on, I will be your friend only. Tonight is only a mistake and that's all." Patrick stood up and walked away, as tears of shame and sadness threatened to spill out of his eyes.

Yuna knew that she should do something, instead of just stay frozen like a statue on the ground. She was going to run after Patrick when a voice in her head rang out "Are you willing to risk losing him when you have just broke up with your boyfriend? You, of all people, should know how fragile love is. Meanwhile, friendship lasts much longer." These were the magic words that somehow, stopped her actions and led her to walk back to her home without going after Patrick. 

Her sister Aera saw the look on face and asked "Yuna, are you ok? You look even worse when you ditch that bastard that day. What happened?"

"I make the right decision. Even though it feel so wrong." Yuna wasn't even aware that she was crying, tears falling down her face silently.

"Huh? I don't get it. Right decision but wrong feeling? So that means you are making the wrong decision, right?" She couldn't explain to Aera her complicated feelings towards Patrick. The easiness she felt when she talked to him, the thrill and passion when he kissed her, and the fear of unpredictable change as well as that impending doom of loss when he confessed his love for her, despite the undeniable happiness in her heart.

"Just leave me alone. I will be fine tomorrow morning. Good night." Yuna couldn't stand the concerned look on her sister's face anymore. She escaped into her room, back to the world that she was familiar with, a world where she would never get hurt for everything was in her control.

Aera sighed. She knew just how strong-willed her little sister was ever since she was a child. It was this iron-like determination that formed Kim Yuna, the formidable skater. She knew that Yuna would always make the right choice in the end. She was just worried that it would be too late when she finally understood her heart.

Time waits for no one.

 

 

 

 


	6. Gold

Yuna was in Paris when she heard that Patrick withdrawn from the Rostelecom Cup because of injury. She asked her coach Brian for his situation but all he knew was that he was sick because of flu and somehow, it led to a tear in his left calf muscle. She was so panicked and alarmed that she nearly flew back to Canada immediately. It was only after she calm down, she realised that she had no right to do so. "Kim Yuna, who are you to him? You are the one who said that we should be friends only. What are you doing now?" At that moment, she really hated herself. With trembling hands, she called Patrick on the phone instead.

However, instead of Patrick answering, she heard a young woman's voice. "Hello." Yuna dropped her phone. 

 

"Hello?" Patrick heard his girlfriend's voice and woke up "Who is that?"

"I don't know. The number displayed on your phone is Yuna Kim. Oh wait! She is the world champion from Korea, right? You skated in her show at summer."

"Yeah. She is just a fellow skater. That's all." Patrick didn't want to talk about Yuna with his girlfriend. This seemed too weird.

"You should call her back. That's nice of her, to call you knowing that you are sick." She left without waiting for his reply when she heard the sound of water boiling.

Patrick picked up his phone and hesitated for a while before dialling Yuna's number. He told himself that it was just basic manners, but the truth was he wanted to hear her voice.

 

"Patrick! You call back." Yuna couldn't believe it when her phone rang.

"Yeah. You called me just now. Why? To see if I'm dead yet?" He knew he was being too harsh, but really after 3 months of silence and now a fucking call because he was injured? What was she thinking? 

"I am sorry. I just want to know how you are doing. I am worried about you." Yuna knew that Patrick has every right to be mad at her. After all, she was the one who literally broke off all contact after the ice show at summer. Some sort of friend, huh? She knew she was being very selfish, but she just couldn't pretend that nothing has changed when he told her that he was seeing someone else. She could feel her heart breaking as she congratulated him. She was afraid to contact him because every time she thought of him, the idea of another woman at his side nearly drove her mad.  

Patrick's voice softened just a bit "I know. Thanks a lot anyway. I know you are busy. It's just that it kind of hurts not to hear from you for that long. "

 

Ever since that night when she refused him, they maintained a certain distance with each other despite the promise of remaining friends. Yuna was hurt, but she knew she deserved it. She met Patrick 3 months later at Los Angelos, where they both won medals, hers being gold and his a silver. She was surprised when he slapped her on the shoulder enthusiastically during the gala practice. He seemed so happy and excited, back to his old-self again. She felt a tiny spark of hope.

"Um Patrick? Congratulations! You are so good. It's a very impressive tango. That's great!" Yuna meant it. She watched his performance and it was good. 

Patrick laughed "Thanks! You are not bad either. You dance is certainly death for your competitors, leading nearly 10 points just in the short. Oh! And I forget to mention the fact that your total is over 200. Good thing that you were not a man, or else we will be in great trouble!" 

"Who is coming for dinner tonight?" Tanith called out loud. Yuna looked at Patrick with a questioning look in her eyes. "Are you going? I mean, we can go together, with everyone."

Patrick nearly lost control but he managed to hide his real feelings with a tight smile and replied "No. You go and have fun. I am busy tonight." He skated away to the other side of the rink.

Yuna was a little disappointed but then, she told herself that he just probably wanted to celebrate with his family first and that it was not because of her that he refused. She nearly convinced herself until she heard Tessa telling Meryl that Patrick was off to see his girlfriend. Her mind was blank. She couldn't process the words she just heard. 

"Yuna. Yuna!" She was pulled back to reality by a girl's voice. It was Mao, who was asking her something. "You want a cup of tea? Joannie is boiling water in the kitchen." 

"Yeah sorry. I just lost concentration. Of course I would love to have some. I'm coming with you." Yuna was still in shock when she followed Mao into the kitchen.

"Joannie. Is Patrick dating someone?" She asked the older woman directly.

"Oh! So you know it as well? Tessa is such a big mouth. But yes, you are right, he is finally seeing someone. One of his classmates, I think? They have just started for two weeks."

"Yuna? Are you okay?" Yuna wasn't even aware that she was pouring hot water on the table instead of into the cup when Mao snatched the kettle out of her hand.

"Are you ill? You look terrible." Joannie was confused. Even though Patrick didn't tell her, she could see that there was something between him and Yuna, something more than friendship. That's why she was surprised when he started hanging around with girls that his friends had introduced to him ever since they came back from Korea. She suspected that something went wrong between him and Yuna that left him injured but this, this was weird. It was like Yuna who was the one that got dumped and hurt.

"I am sorry. I was just thinking something. That's great. I mean, about Patrick having a girlfriend. She is so lucky." 

Yuna stumbled out of the kitchen, and she almost tripped if Mao hasn't caught her.

"Yuna. You look like you are about to faint. What's the problem?" Actually, Mao wasn't really very close to Yuna. True, they were of the same age and saw each other often at competitions. It's just that due to the fact that they were often compared by the media as greatest rivals, as well as the complicated history of their countries that the two girls always felt a bit awkward around each other. Mao has secretly thought of Yuna as a strong warrior who has a steel-like mind. She didn't seem to be a teenager to Mao, but after witnessing the strange behaviour of the Korean girl tonight, she began to question her original impression.

"Mao. I know it's weird of me to ask you this question, but I need to talk to someone. I... I was very close with a boy sometime ago. Actually he was a great friend of mine and I really treasure my time with him, the problem is that he said he love me a few months ago. I said no, not because that I don't like him but it's just that I don't have time for love now. So I just literally ran away. We didn't mention it anymore but I know something is changed. I know it is extremely mean and selfish of me, but when I found out that he is seeing someone else now, I am so angry and jealous even though I have absolutely no right to be. I don't know how to face him."

Mao immediately knew that the "he" Yuna referred to must be Patrick Chan, whom Joannie was just talking about. When she looked at Yuna's puffy eyes, she thought "How ironic it was to be asked for love advice when I just broke up with Daisuke a month ago."

"I don't think I am the person you should be asking for advice, since I just broke up with Daisuke a month ago. Don't look so shocked. I guess if you ask me for the reason, then it's probably similar to yours: skating is more important to me than love. Daisuke understands it, he is a skater too. It's just that understanding and accepting are two different matters. Does it hurt? Yes. What can be done? Honestly nothing helps except time and distance. Leaving him is hard, but seeing him and acting normal is even harder."

When Yuna went back to the hotel, she thought about Mao's words. Even though it almost crushed her when she was told that she and Patrick could never go back to before again, but Yuna knew in her heart that Mao was telling the truth and it was something she must learn to live with. With the Olympics less than a year away, she couldn't afford to waste time dwelling over meaningless regret. She looked at her sister's text, congratulating her victory, Yuna told herself "You are the world champion now. You have gone so far down the road that there is simply no turning back. Don't think about anything else until the Olympics ended. Stop dreaming; Start living."   


**Author's Note:**

> I was actually inspired by the opening of ATS Summer 2011 when Yuna and Patrick skated together. They looked really cute as a couple and I was shocked when I could find no BG fanfic for them. So I decided to write one myself.
> 
> Sorry for any grammatical mistakes.


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